Monday, January 7, 2008

will it never end?

"the times they are a-changin" a singer man once sang. well, something is rotten and it ain't in denmark.

i get lulls where i feel distracted, almost content like nothing has happened. then there are the full solar winds of panic and despair that sweep over me with 100 mph winds and shred the flesh off my bones. i can actually see my skeleton hands covering my skeleton cheekbone. call me morbid, but from my point of view, there's no other way for me to feel.

metaphors are all i can conjour, because i have no actual comparison to how i feel. i know i am prone to hyperbole, but it's funny how my emotions back the talk. drowning, burning, falling... it's all the same really. just a different how to the same what.

i hope that (to some small extent even) what i write will help exorcise some of these demons swimmin around inside. the consistent gnawing and panic seem to never end, and i've never realized how powerful they can be. i pray and i ask God to help. just help me keep strong enough to beat them... one day at a time.

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